It's been a really long time since I've updated, and this will probably be my last. It finally seems like everything is coming together for me. My dad and I have a good relationship now. Dickey and I are good friends again and stopped smoking crack and apologized to me for hurting my feelings so much. I'm moving to Florida where I have three lovely, sparkly roomates. Ricky and I are ok, and have decided not to worry about me moving and just have a great summer. My mom and I are having a blast hanging out all of the time. Work is excellent, and I only have a few more weeks. I have closure. My life is full of love and happiness right now, and I can't wait to start the next chapter.

Love,
Lauren

So Yesterday/Today was amazing. The Leadership retreat was so awesome, I got to know so much about the people in my class. For instance, Jessica Rabideau. I adore her, and we've kind of had similar faith experiences. Definitely a friend I'm glad I made. I was amazed at how many strong Christians we have in leadership. Over 50% of everyone, which is so cool. Mike Debona is sweet. He looks like a typical soccer-playing kid, but he's really gentleman-ly and really nice. Rachel Burger has a LOT more character than people give her credit for, and she is one of the nicest people ever. Jill Magghard is one of the strongest girls I know. It's amazing how little we know about people until we really listen to them, and I feel very...connected, I guess, now that I have gotten to know so many of my peers. :)

In other news, Jesse Wiza, I have no locker partner yet, but I think mine is way out in BFE hallway.

I start my job tomorrow at Clothing Cove. I'm so excited! I'm glad I will finally have a source of income...
I started my college applications today. I finished my Michigan Tech one. Now I just have U of M, Purdue, Columbia, Northwestern, Renssellaer and Kettering. And possibly Stanford. Except it's REALLY hard to get into Stanford. I don't want to waste 70 dollars, but then again...

I could go to Stanford and live in California and have a hot, surfer husband and go to Incubus concerts and have an infinity pool... It would be a real-life OC.

But then what would my mom do? Can I leave her all alone stuck here in Milford? I want to go away, but California is so far... 

College picking is so stressful. I saw Accepted last night, which is that kid from Dodgeball who starts his own college for people who get rejected everywhere else. It was really predictable, but it kind of echoed how I'm feeling-

It shouldn't be this hard.

I shouldn't have to worry about what I want to do for the rest of my life. I just want to live, and figure it out as I go along. I definitely want to get out of here, though, and I know I will end up wherever I'm supposed to.

So yesterday was the birthday of Lucille. It was quite a fun time. We (me and Lindsay) had everyone over to my house and by everyone I mean me, Lindsay, Jesse, Erik, Lucy, Kara, Jessica, Zach, Marcus, Corey, Nikki, Brett, Lauren, + three kids from bloomfield. Oh, and the man in the saturn that stole something out of the garage. I made better than sex cake, which was basically perf. I made lucy a gnome shirt that says 'say hello to my little friend'. It was a great day, and we all had oodles of fun. Also Brandi called me back for a second interview at clothing cove!!! :) The night before (sunday night)I went on another date with Ricky, date 3 to be exact. (Date 3 always scares me, cause usually I dont make it past date 3.) we went to fountain walk, which I love. A lot. It's really, really nice to be treated like a lady. To be respected and liked for my personality. To not be stood up for a pot-smoking binge. I like this kid. So who knows? We'll see where it goes.

yes, that's what we called the beautiful state of absolutely nothing. My trip was unbelievably amazing though, I LOVE GARAH SORDON, EARI MELGOUL, SANDREW ERGENT, AND... DAN DRAKE. (tee hee, the ol' constanant switcharoo. oh, i almost forgot about ROTT SCOBINSON.) I adored my mission trip! It was absolutely incred. My house I worked on was super old, but I got to do like 8 sweet things like:

1 install a sink
2 install the pipes in the sink
3 caulk the sink
4 caulk the shower
5 install cabinets
6 install the lights
7 break cinderblocks with a sledgehammer
8 play baseball with aforementioned blocks and sledgehammer.

So, my trip was basically shveet. My homeowner was really particular though, which was frustrating, since he made me hang his cabinets like 8000 times. And re-do his edging like 9000. But, it was worth it when on friday he gave me a gift. A tiny southern tree. that was almost dead and leaning over to one side.
" I gawt yous a crook'd tree cuz' yous hang errythang up crook'd."

"wow, thanks... I'll cherish it forever."

luckily my tree is still alive after several near fatal accidents like being in front of the A/C on the way home and mom spilling her iced tea in its cup.

and the friends I made...AMAZING! I met so many sweet people, especially from north carolina and NYC. And even kids from my youth group that I had never really talked too... we're all friends now. It's amazing. I actually like going to church again. And I never though that would happen. It was a great week, there was this one night where I just started crying. And I just poured out my heart. And I really felt like my prayers were heard. I don't even know how to explain it. But I've been praying for the same thing every night since november, and tuesday it felt like someone was actually listening, which was just overwhelming. So I don't feel so uncertain anymore. I KNOW things are going to get better. And I didn't feel that way before I left. This year is going to have a lot in store for me, and for the people I care about, and for once in my life I can say that I'm not afraid. Of the future or of my past. I finally accepted that I can't control everything, and that's ok with me. It's a great feeling- freedom is a great feeling.

So I've been soooooooooooo busy I forgot to update about OAR. I went to the conceirto on friday (with special guest jack's mannequin). It was basically amazing. I had SO MUCH FUN! They played every amazing song, and then it started raining, and I got supersoaked but I didn't even care. We ran about a mile in the rain to mcdonalds (which was closed) and then to BK (which was open) and then to Arby's (b/c i wanted curly fries.)I never realized how fun Scott is. Like I know I dated him and everything, but he really is a good friend to me. I'm glad he was in my communications camp group. He's a good listener; I remember talking about my dad and what he did to my mom and I when I was there, and I cried alot, and it was him and jeremy and dougie that were there for me 100%. It's good to know I have people I can always count on when bad shit happens. I actually thought about this yesterday when I found a card from Jesse. (Yes, you Jess.) It made me cry. But in a good way- (excerpt) "First of all I just want to say that I think you're a great person and no matter what happens I will always love you. You're a great friend too, always there for people, and right now I need you to know I'm here for you." Thank you so much, Jesse. I love you too. I love all of my friends who stick with me, the ones who saw what my family went through and gave their support, the ones who made me dinner when I was too tired to cook anything, the ones who brought me over good movies and books to distract me, the ones who made me breakfast in bed and cleaned out my basement when I was sick and weeded my lawn when the Mexicans got deported. The ones who brought me cheesy bread at 11 at night. The ones who took me out stargazing. And most of all, everyone who just LISTENED. So here's to you-

Sarah *Old Dickey *Jesse *Caitlin *Adrienne *Doug *Jeremy *Scott *Jasmine *Lucy *Lindsay *Kelsey *Missa *Brett *Katie *Caitlin *Julie *Camille *David Aubry *Marcus *Chad *Nico *Other Sarah *Cally *Ariel *Suzanne *Amelia *Charlotte

If I missed you, I am so sorry, but I believe that's everyone who helped me through all of my family's falling apart. Anyone who listened to me tell the story did more good for me then any therapy possibly could have. So thank you. Thank you everyone.

Especially Sarah and Old Dickey, who probably helped me more than they can possibly imagine.

good night.

so yesterday was basically the weirdest day i've ever had. first off, no one could go see matchbook romance with me, so i didnt end up going, but luckily i explained my situation to scott and he told me i didnt have to worry about paying him back. phew! Anyway, I believe there is a reason for everything, and I know why I didnt go to the concert...
I went to work at around 5 45 b/c i knew i was gonna have to make 50 bucks to pay scott back. I pulled in (to the clinic) and i noticed something weird. There was a pick ice cream truck parked in the back, where you couldnt see it from the road. My mom and I both were like, what the hell is going on? there was nobody in the drivers seat. we tried to get a closer look and realized that the truck was ROCKING. SICK!!! i exclaimed, as i threw up at the thought of some fat man's jiz all over my Dove bar. We went inside real fast and called the police, and sent them fast on the tail of the ice cream truck. We were talking about it afterword and my mom was like, ya know, what if he was raping someone back there? like what if he picked up a little kid while they were buying ice cream? I pondered that for a moment, and thought out loud- maybe we just thwarted a horrible, horrible crime. Maybe we saved some kids life. Maybe we saved some family a lot of suffering. Maybe there's a reason I didnt end up going to the concert, for if I had, nobody ever would have noticed the ice cream truck parked behind the clinic. Its weird how things work out that way, but hopefully something good came out of it. and ps, dont buy ice cream from the pink truck.

So INCUBUS has a new cd coming out in late autumn of 2006... and guess who has already secured tickets to their detroit concert? Thats right. I HAVE! It's a little thing called supporting the Incubus Charity (The Make Yourself Foundation.) It has a lot more to do with being tight with scott chase. Woo Hoo! Mr. Chase has also procured yellowcard w/ matchbook romance tickets for Katie and I and either Marcus or The Chad. I am EFFIN STOKED!

I've definitely had worse summers.
This one is turning out pretty peachy, despite some early speed bumps.
I've got the pageant and matchbook romance concert to look forward to, and of course west virginia and now my new job at the clothing cove...
it will be great.

So yesterday was quite sweet. School got out forever! Hooray. I got home and basked in my freedom, them I made some cookies. Then Lucy! came over and we journeyed to Highland food center to pick up weiners and buns. Then we went to see Co-Co, who disappointingly enough was not at work. But we did get to play in the playhouses! which I've always wanted. After our quick journey we went to Eriks for swimming and fun. It was a total sausage fest- Erik Marcus Alec Sprinkle Luke Kiefer and Jon were all there, along with Lucy and I. We swam and frolicked for like ever. I had to go home tho, b/c mom needed a ride, so I left my good buddies and ventured home, only to find that my grandma had bought me a grill for my birthday, which is sweet because I LOVE TO COOK! After that, I went to Chad's house. It was the most amazing date I have ever been on. He took me out in his boat on Cedar Island Lake and we watched the sunset. Then we stopped the boat (there was no wind) and just laid down and watched the stars for about 2 hours. It was just so perfect. It was the perfect way to start my summer. And to top it all off...today I am 17 years old. :)

So I went on a date last night. Yes, on a monday night. A school night. A night before finals. And it was sweet! I haven't been on a nice, not shitty date in at least a year. Chad (my date) was a perfect gentleman- opened doors, paid for everything, very respectful. We saw 'Cars' which is the cutest movie I've seen in a while. I loved it! There were no awkward moments. There was no calling of other girls. There was no drug trafficking of any sort. It was a beautiful, welcome change of pace. I really hope this goes somewhere, because he is a really nice guy who (aside from being a lacrosse player) gets good grades and is drug free and isn't a big fat jerk. It was a really, really great night. Unfortunately I think I failed the math final this morning. ;)

I cried when I got home today. For a really long time. For no reason except that I needed to. And I feel a hell of alot better than I have in quite some time. I like opening the 'feelings bottle' and getting all the negativity out so I don't take it out on other people. I did that alot today, and Doug pointed it out, and he was so right. There is one person in our school who I constantly say bad (although true) things about and Doug made me realize how dumb that is. I am the better person. I don't need to be pissed about it anymore. I can let it go, because I hate negativity in myself, and it's good to get it out. And that is what my long cry achieved-I got it all out. (sigh of relief)

so this weekend went nonstop. Friday nite I had cabaret, which was incredibly fun, because I got to be sparkly. I'll really miss steve and jess and elyse and everybody, they were great role models this year and hopefully next year I can live up to their glory :) Then we went to Dave's to watch the pistons game and have a par-tay, and on the way Isaac and I sang cold as ice like 80 times. Glorious. I didn't want to drive Isaac back home (aka BFE) so I skirted outta there. Saturday I took the SAT, which lasted like 17 hours. Then sunday I had the carwash for the mission trip (fiasco) and then pageant rehersal (bootcamp) and then finally I wrote my research paper rough draft (Satan). So it was very eventful, and my brain was so fried the whole time...hopefully this week will bring me rest and hapiness.

So I was bored today and decided to go dress hunting. I would appreciate comments on what you like and don't like, but these were my top choices. (For homecoming, prom, or pageants.)




100% sequins!




very sparkly!


Copa Cabana-ish!



I know it looks ugly on the models, but this is the one i was talking about in my previous entry.

Comment back! I would love the opinions of my fashion-savvy friends!

I never finished the Chicago saga.
On sunday we shopped some more, then we went to see wicked, which was amazing. I absolutely loved it. Then we drove home. Yay! now on to more pressing matters...

Marissa died last night on the OC. I cried. Lucy and Erik were devestated too. I am so unbelievably distraught. (In case you didnt see it, I'm sorry to be the one to break this to you.) Volchuck killed her. OMG!!! It was sooooooooooooo sad. then they played the sad "hallelujah" song that they always play when bad shit happens. oh no. I don't think it will be back next season. I'm so dissappointed. :,(

On a happier note, I fell in love with a dress. So I need to raise $400 before homecoming. Here's a picture, although the models are fairly unnatractive, and the dress doesn't look that good on them, but I loved the way it looked on me and I love the color, and I love the sparkles, and I love the way it hits the floor...

<http://www.cassandrastone.com/cassandra_stone_prom2006_2.html>
its style 12020, the yellow one in the middle...I love it!

Part two of the saga..........
So Saturday morning I woke up at 6 and got in the shower (in the hotel). Everyone else was sleeping soundly. We got ready and dressed, and headed off to the field musesum, which was cool, except they had a dissappointingly small giant squid. We performed, and a shaggy boy hit on Roxie and I, and asked where our hotel was. Scary! After that we shopped some more, and I went to H&M, which was amazing. I picked out an outfit for steve, and he found one for me, which was sweet. We met Suzanne's ex-bf, who looked like phillip the german exchange student. I got a cool jacket (which I wore today) and a cute yellow shirt (which I will wear tomorrow?) after that we went to connie's pizza, and I ate the most amazing pizza I've ever had in my whole life. It was a pizza mouth-gasm. then we went to Navy Pier again, and went to the IMAX. We saw poseidon (SCARY AS HELL. I CRIED SEVERAL TIMES. LIKE WHEN THE MEXICAN FELL IN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT AND WAS SKEWERED ON THE SHARP ROCKS THAT JUST HAPPENED TO BE ON THE BOTTOM OF THE ELEVATOR.)It was fun though, because I love Piers, and especially those of the navy variety. It was so sweet.
more later...

Wow, so my trip to chi-cago was amazingly fun. many of my favorite things were there such as...

*large ferris wheels
*sparkly dresses
*yummy cheesecake
*fashionable men
*yachts and yacht cruises (which we did)
*fabulous musicals (Wicked)
*lots of fun with people who you can just be yourself with.

It was fabulous. I think I'll do this in segements so nobody is bored.
Segment 1~~~~
after a 6 hour bus ride from school, which was fairly uneventful, we arrived on Michigan Avenue ready to shop. And shop we did. We went to Filene's basement, which was sweet, and I got a really cool bag there. I also found this bcbg dress that I really loved...except it was half my budget. Then we went to this (overpriced) restaraunt where I had the second best hamburger of my life. After that we went to our hotel room, which was slightly shitty, but we were still really excited. I shared a bed w/ Ariel (Isaac's girlfriend)which was good, because Cally and Suzanne (our roomates) snore and kick but I love them anyway. We talked for a really long time about stuff, and then we had to go to rehersal. Lajoye was definitely cracking the whip. After rehersal we got ready for the dinner cruise. I put on my MASC sundress that I made, and I was ready to party. We boarded this beautiful yacht on Navy pier, and there was a dance floor/restaraunt inside. There was a hispanic private school wthat was having it's prom in there. All of these girls had beautiful dresses, and we looked like a weird mix of semiformal and khakis. We danced for about 3 hours, to such hits as "Rompe", "Miss New Booty", and "Thriller". There were alot of spanish dance songs, and I ballroom danced with steve. everyone was very impressesd, which was cool because I didnt know what the fuck I was doing. We went up on the deck later, and you could see all the lights on navy pier, it was beautiful. A gust of wind came and I had a marilyn monroe moment. I had so much fun, like more fun than our school dances. I think it's because I didnt care what other people thought of me. I just let loose. Well, tomorrow I will fill you in on saturday.
tata!

I have never been so happy to be a verizon wireless customer. With my phone, I can watch episodes of ATOMIC COUNTY!!! That's right: Seth Cohen's fantastic comic creation has come to life in the form of the V-cast. I dont know what it is really, all I know is I get to indulge myself in more O.C. than the average fan. I am ecstatic, for as you know my love of the O.C. is only surpassed by my love of sequins. Here is the sweet ATOMIC COUNTY illustration : 


O.C.... How I Adore You!!!
This is Lauren, the ultimate OC fan, saying, "I'm outtie 5000."

Last night was sweet! It was the official beginning of spring break. I went with Lucy to the LAX game, which was fun, except they got murdered. I felt kinda bad, and the south lyon boys were all big dicks and I hated them. After the game (and a brief spin around in the revolving entranceway) Lucy and I journeyed to Dairy Queen and got babay cones, which were scrumptious. Then we went back to her house and watched family guy and the O.C., which was so intense! Oh man, O.C., what's going to happen? Then Marcus came over and we went to Dickey's, but he wasn't home so we stargazed outside instead. I haven't been stargazing in so long, it was very refreshing. Well, I'm off to go start my break off with some sunshine.

It was an interesting week. A rollercoaster of emotions if I may. Everything was pretty sad b/c of Mr.B. But good things happened too, like 5th hour pretty much becoming a dance class. And me finishing my D+P project. And of course, my dinner party. Which was lovely. Everyone from lakeland was really cool, especially Christie + Alex, who I just found out is my 2nd cousin. Well, ok, not everyone was sweet, let us not for get the "Donnie of Lakeland". Oh yes. There is a Donnie in every school. teehee. And the best part...WE ARE DONE WITH MEAPS! yay. I have a busy weekend ahead involving Ypsilanti, pastels, brunches and the anticipation of spring break!
tata for now.